I am blessed. period.

I'm for some strange reason, just now realizing how many amazing people I have in my life. It's crazy how it's all just now coming to me.. but for real, the people in my life are so wonderful! Let me just give you some ideas why they're sooo wonderful:

My family rules. Including but limited to; my mom, dad, sister, grandpa, and other relatives.
I have soo many FANTASTIC best friends! (My sister, Kara, Natalie, Becca, Louie ect.)
I've met a lot of new people here in Arkansas! And I cannot wait to meet more! Everyone is so stinkin' nice!
I just recently started working at Salon Blais and everyone there is fabulous! They make me feel welcome and comfortable in being the "new girl."
All of the families I know around here are incredibly hospitable and always take care of me. (The Cornett's, The Mohler's, The Lewis Family, The Farrish's, ect.)
I also work at Express in the mall and I have met some great people there as well.
Also people that are there for me whenever I need them, even if it's just someone to talk to..
(Kara, Brandon, Colleen, Jamie, ect.)
I could go on and on and on.. trust me!

I just feel like I could never thank any of these people enough. They have made my time here in Arkansas so much better and I feel so blessed to know all of them. I know that this is a short post, but honestly, I am speechless in what to write about everyone.
God always knows how to take care of me and it's through theses people that He is making it happen. I don't know what I would do without everyone but I know for a fact that I wouldn't be the same without them in my life.

So thank you so much to everyone and everything you do for me! I truly am blessed. Ya'll make me extremely happy and keep the smile on my face every day!

Love you all sooo sooooo sooooo soooooooo mucho!
 
"It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart."

I ain't no "Debby Downer"

I'm really not sure where this week went.. I looked at the date of my last blog and realized that it had already been that long since my last post. Hmm, well anyway, moving on..

I feel like I always want to blog when I've had my down days and I'm not sure why..
Since the title of my blog is, "Optimism and Faith; Hope and Confidence" I think I should probably start blogging specifically about those things. Or maybe I should just be living my life in the way that I never have a down day.
I mean, everyone has their moments but it's quite possible that I have them a little too often. Now don't take me wrong, I ain't no "Debby Downer" but my moods aren't always how they should be. If one thing in my day is a little off, it seems to affect my mood more than it should. I try and stay positive but that is one thing I need to really work on.

I need to make a new habit... and that's to wake up and do a bible study in my daily devotional every single morning. Just to start my day off right and have some extra back up for when my mood wants to crash..
The only problem is, I don't want it to feel forced and feel like "I have to do it." I want to just simply.. WANT to do it.
I want God to put that in my heart. Because as I said in my last post, I want to be all for Him. And that can only start with a serious and intimate relationship with Him.
I feeeeel like me and Jesus could get along quite nicely. I mean, I'm prettyyyy sure that He's my type (if I even have a type) and ya know, I think we could get to that serious stage..
We won't just be like a summer fling. He's a little bit cooler than that.

My hope is that my prayers will be answered..
I have true faith in Jesus and that He will put this in my heart. I mean, lets be real.. who wouldn't want a relationship with someone as awesome as me?! Ok, I was totally kidding.. I'm not like that. I PROMISE!! But He's really good at making things happen.. He's a good listener.
And I'm pretty sure, sooner or later, all my passion and drive will be put into Him and strictly Him alone.. He is my one and only. My true LOVE.

As I wrote this post, conveniently, this song was playing...

"Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
He is sweet, He is sweet
What your looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What You're looking for
Is my sweet Lord."

 Have You Ever

By Shawn McDonald 

Updates, Barf and Flaws.

Since my last post, I guess a lot has happened.
Everything has been positive and I feel like everything is slowly starting to fall into place. God did bring me here for a reason and I'm just trying to keep my eyes open to it.

I finally got a job at a salon, which is SO good! It happened without me expecting it whatsoever! I honestly feel blessed that it happened the way that it did.
I guess it was all keeping my hope in God in knowing that He would take care of me.
I still lose that hope often though. It's a huge problem of mine. I just wish I could believe in Him to take care of me all the time, but me, being my stubborn, anxious little self.. can never seem to do that.

I need to realize that keeping my hope and trusting in Him WILL pay off.
It already has!
He knows what will happen next. I don't.
I am small. He is big.

I constantly fail to wrap my mind around that and grab hold of it.
I'm always consumed with myself. Everything. All about me.. me.. me.

BARF.


My mind has been all over the place this week. And I'm still scared for whats to come..
I can't seem to get over that fear and I don't know why.
I guess what I really need to start doing is practicing what I preach. I need to listen to my own advice. I need to live for God and not for the world.

I feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world. Maybe I'm just being hard on myself.. but if I wasn't, who would be? No one realizes all of my flaws like I do. And if I'm going to keep writing this blog, I need to start living out what I write.

I told myself that this post would be short and sweet, but instead, it turned out to be long and harsh. It's what I needed though. Just took me gathering all my thoughts and writing them down to notice what I was really doing.
I have good intentions, I just don't always follow them.
sooooo...
GOAL STARTING RIGHT NOW: live how God wants me to live. Not how I want to live.

I should of started that a looonnnggg time ago.
Buuuut, better late than never.

Here we go.. deeeeep breath. Ready. Set. Go.

Grow up, Meghan.

Pretty sure it's been way to long since the last time I blogged. I mean, it's only been like a week.. buuuut still! TOO LONG!
Things cross my mind every single day and I tell myself to blog about it, but then.. I forget what I wanted to blog about. Sooo.. hence, this post just might be all over the place. I'll try and pull it together the best I can.

Moving to Arkansas has been a huge struggle for me. Not only in the aspect of now being an extremely poor teenager living in a house and having to pay bills but just the simple fact of trying to adjust to things. It's not easy.
I have been blessed with having some incredible families who are here for me whenever I need them! Including, the Cornett's, the Mohler's, the Starr's and the Schoolcraft's. I appreciate all of their hospitality immensely! I'm so thankful!

Continuing on, I guess moving has given me the idea to never give up and to never lose hope. It's difficult sometimes to look past everything going wrong and to just concentrate on the negatives.. but it's so important to find the positives, even if they are deeeep down inside.
For awhile, it seemed as if nothing was going right for me.. I just wanted to give up and move back home because that's where I was comfortable. That is where I knew where I was, where I wanted to go and could get anywhere without getting lost. I had my special little bubble there. I knew exactly what my day would like that and it felt good to me.
If I would of chose to stay there and never move past that "comfortable" stage of mine, how would I of ever grown from it? I wouldn't of. I'm the type of person that needs a serious adjustment to realize who I am, because it forces me to figure out what to do in situations. It forces me to actually use my brain and think about what I should and shouldn't do next.
And I'll tell you what, I never noticed all the things I didn't know how to do until I moved away. I let myself get wayyyy too comfy with my parents doing everything for me.. Don't get me wrong, I'm blessed for everything they did for me but I'm to the point now, where I need to start learning on my own and in the long run, GROW UP.
You'd think that statement would be easy for me to achieve.. it's only 6 letters long. Not to complicated, right?
Wrong.
I just cannot seem to figure it out yet. I'm too stubborn in my old ways that I'm not willing to move on.
Or maybe I'm just scared.

Yes. That would be it.
I am scared to move on. I'm scared to get a job. I'm scared of what people will think of me. I'm scared to do things I have never done before. I'm scared to run out of money. I'm scared that I won't be successful. I'm scared that I will become weak.
I'm scared. Period.
 So let me give ya'll some advice..
I cannot stress to you enough the importance of praying when you're scared. Just lifting up all your fears to God. Hand them over to Him. Trust me.. I have been there, done that. He knows what you are feeling, He has been through everything. He is God, remember?
Plus, He knows your prayers before you even pray them. He's intense. He doesn't joke around.


To wrap all of this mess, all over the place, scrambled stuff up, I just want to say.. Let God be your hope. Don't think you can't go on, because you can. He never goes away.  
He is a 365 days, 24/7, forever kind of guy.

August 29th, 2010

 

(sorry if it's a little bit blurry.. or a-lot-a-bit blurry.. forgive me!)

Not that my baptism really has much to do with my blog, but I thought I'd share it with ya'll anyway.

This day was extremely important to me. I've had some amazing influences in my life that have brought me to where I am today. 

I mentioned a girl named Natalie Campbell in my video. She was huge in my coming to Christ. I have always been a believer but I never actually knew what that meant to be a follower until I met her and let her work in my life. I explain a lot in the video of what an impact she had on my life, but honestly I can't really put it all in words. 

But this girl is something amazing! Such an incredible individual. I'm so blessed to have her in my life!

She is beautiful from the inside out!

These lyrics are for her..

"I'll never let you stand alone
You'll always have my hand to hold
Our lengthy talks never get old
You're gonna change the world you know.

And I said..
Hey sunshine,
Don't you get yourself upset
Giving more than the world may ever know
So tilt your head towards the sun
You've got brighter days ahead
Don't you worry that your life will be cut short."

"Sunshine" by jinxed

I love you Natalie Lynn Campbell. Thank you for everything you have done for me! You have made me who I am today!

What's my inspiration?

I've never really been a huge writer.. as I said before, I neverrr made good grades in English, I mean.. lets be honest, I never got over a C on a paper I wrote.
But maybe that doesn't mean I'm not a good writer. Maybe that just means, the topic I was writing about wasn't a true passion of mine. Maybe if I actually found something that meant a lot to me, I could write about it better. Ya! That sounds promising! Well then, let me go ahead and try it..

Caitlin Kyle Barber is her name and I guess you could say that she is kinda sorta a huuugeeee passion of mine..

 (she's on the left.. I'm on the right.)

Not only is she a passion of mine but, she's my BIG sister and I'm the annoying, bratty, pushy little sister.. but I'm allowed to be! I have the title "little" and that means A LOT of different things. Trust me, I get away with things I shouldn't.

 We won't go into details though....

Instead, let me just inform ya'll how absolutely amazing this woman of God is.. who I can proudly call, my sister.
First off, she is in Thailand for 3 months. She is there as we speak. Leading people to Jesus! Which rules.
Honestly, I could stop there. Pretty sure she beats all of us with JUST that. But, just you wait.. it gets even better! Hard to believe, I know..
This girl loves Jesus with every single ounce of her. I don't think that I have ever seen her slip away from her walk with Christ. She is the most consistent, "in it for the win" follower I have ever met.. and it blows my mind! Let me tell ya'll, being able to not only look up to her every single day of my life and know that she is there with me every step I take, but I can call her MY sister. Mine. That is amazing to me. I have such a passion for her, it's unbelievable.
God has worked in her life ever since she exited the womb! I mean, lets be real.. she came out absolutely perfect to do His work. He knew exactly what He made her for and she has followed His exact plan! She has chosen, every single day to follow him and shine His light to everyone around. And trust me, it is a BRIGHT light people!

I admire her to the fullest. I look up to her with no doubt. I will never be ashamed to call her my sister, my best friend.
She is one of a kind everyone! Absolutely and completely, perfect in my eyes.

I've quoted this verse about her before..
"There's no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She's a woman beyond compare."
- Song of Songs 6:8
(the funny thing about that quote, she was the one who showed it to me. She wrote it on a note, written to me.. which still today, hangs on my wall for me to see every day.)

Caitlin Kyle Barber in the dictionary should be that verse. She is perfect. She is beyond compare. She is admired.

Ya'll! She is incredible! I don't even think this post will do her justice. But she is my inspiration and without her, I will never be able to accomplish all the things I said I wanted to in my last post. She will help and lead me through it. She will walk with me. She will support me with anything I want to do. Her heart is good. It is pure. And it is open to anyone who needs it.

I'm blessed to call her part of me:)

If you want to read more about her heart in Thailand, her blog is.. http://ckbarber.blogspot.com/
Check her out, ya'll will be just as amazed if not more amazed by her than I am every single day.

I love you Nae! <3

Nailed It!

Ok, the only reason that I say, "nailed it" is because I actually figured out how to create this blog, by myself, no help. Go me!
And thissss.right.here. will be my first blog post. Ever! Crazy, right?

Well, I feel like this will be a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings, whenever I want. Plus, I feel like a lot of my thoughts are constantly unheard. Maybe it's because most of them are pointless and don't really have meaning to most people, but I thought them, soooo.. that should count for something, am I right or am I righttt?
Also, please don't judge the way that I write. I never made good grades in English class.. I write like I talk and/or text. Hopefully it won't be too big of a struggle to read what I'm saying..

The point of my blog will be advice, venting and anything else that comes to mind. It may not always be the best, but sometimes writing makes me feel like I'm not alone with the obstacles that have been placed in my, so far, 19 years of life..
Including but not limited to the following:
I've gotten my heart broken, I've moved away from home and missed it, I've been defeated by the devil, been told lies and believed them, I've wanted to give up, I've cried until I couldn't anymore, I've lost all friends, all at once, I've thought I was good for nothing and worthless, I've forgotten how truly blessed I am, I've made huge mistakes, I've been rude to my parents when they have given me everything I need, I've taken life for granted, I've broken peoples hearts,  I've sinned beyond belief,  I've had absolutely no confidence in myself, ect.

The ones I italicized, put in bold and underlined are my main struggles.. Which is the key to the title of my blog. I've had days where I was nothing but negative. The only thing I was hearing were the lies coming straight from the devil, sitting on my shoulder. He just loves to whisper in my ear, 24/7. And the problem is, I choose to listen to him and believe it.
He never fails to shoot things into my mind to make me feel, good for nothing and worthless. He kills my confidence daily. Not only with appearance, but makes me think I'm simply..not a good person.
WHY would I believe any of this??
Because, he is extremely persuasive.. He makes me look down, when I should be looking up. My eyes should be focused on the One who made me. The One who has my heart, who knows me better than anyone else. And you know who that is?
YES! Ding ding ding! You got that right! Jesus, God, My Father, My Rock, My Everything!
Soooo.. You'd think, with all that confidence in knowing who He is, and what He's done for me that it wouldn't be hard to just look up and focus my attention all on Him.. But, it is. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way before but I feel this way, daily.

I want to be the one who is so on fire for God that everyone can see it. I want to show His light to everyone in the world. I want to change peoples lives! I want to give hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the discouraged. I have a good heart. And I want more than anything for it to be seen. But before I can do any of that, I need to get myself together. I need to start loving myself and realizing that I am beautiful (inside and out)..  that I am worth fighting for.. that I am someone who can change lives and light up the world!
All of this sounds so amazing! The challenge is, making it all happen and pulling myself together to make it flow smoothly.
I suppose that's not always how things work out. Life is full of struggles.
God didn't make things to always be easy for us.. He made us fighters. He made us strong. He gave us our love for Him to spread to everyone else so that we may all work together!

Maybe I'm just rambling on and not making sense now.. But I hope ya'll got something out of this. I hope to post something every chance I get or whenever something comes to mind. Good or bad.

I will end with this quote aka: the inspiration for the title of my blog..

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
-Helen Keller