Grow up, Meghan.

Pretty sure it's been way to long since the last time I blogged. I mean, it's only been like a week.. buuuut still! TOO LONG!
Things cross my mind every single day and I tell myself to blog about it, but then.. I forget what I wanted to blog about. Sooo.. hence, this post just might be all over the place. I'll try and pull it together the best I can.

Moving to Arkansas has been a huge struggle for me. Not only in the aspect of now being an extremely poor teenager living in a house and having to pay bills but just the simple fact of trying to adjust to things. It's not easy.
I have been blessed with having some incredible families who are here for me whenever I need them! Including, the Cornett's, the Mohler's, the Starr's and the Schoolcraft's. I appreciate all of their hospitality immensely! I'm so thankful!

Continuing on, I guess moving has given me the idea to never give up and to never lose hope. It's difficult sometimes to look past everything going wrong and to just concentrate on the negatives.. but it's so important to find the positives, even if they are deeeep down inside.
For awhile, it seemed as if nothing was going right for me.. I just wanted to give up and move back home because that's where I was comfortable. That is where I knew where I was, where I wanted to go and could get anywhere without getting lost. I had my special little bubble there. I knew exactly what my day would like that and it felt good to me.
If I would of chose to stay there and never move past that "comfortable" stage of mine, how would I of ever grown from it? I wouldn't of. I'm the type of person that needs a serious adjustment to realize who I am, because it forces me to figure out what to do in situations. It forces me to actually use my brain and think about what I should and shouldn't do next.
And I'll tell you what, I never noticed all the things I didn't know how to do until I moved away. I let myself get wayyyy too comfy with my parents doing everything for me.. Don't get me wrong, I'm blessed for everything they did for me but I'm to the point now, where I need to start learning on my own and in the long run, GROW UP.
You'd think that statement would be easy for me to achieve.. it's only 6 letters long. Not to complicated, right?
Wrong.
I just cannot seem to figure it out yet. I'm too stubborn in my old ways that I'm not willing to move on.
Or maybe I'm just scared.

Yes. That would be it.
I am scared to move on. I'm scared to get a job. I'm scared of what people will think of me. I'm scared to do things I have never done before. I'm scared to run out of money. I'm scared that I won't be successful. I'm scared that I will become weak.
I'm scared. Period.
 So let me give ya'll some advice..
I cannot stress to you enough the importance of praying when you're scared. Just lifting up all your fears to God. Hand them over to Him. Trust me.. I have been there, done that. He knows what you are feeling, He has been through everything. He is God, remember?
Plus, He knows your prayers before you even pray them. He's intense. He doesn't joke around.


To wrap all of this mess, all over the place, scrambled stuff up, I just want to say.. Let God be your hope. Don't think you can't go on, because you can. He never goes away.  
He is a 365 days, 24/7, forever kind of guy.

August 29th, 2010

 

(sorry if it's a little bit blurry.. or a-lot-a-bit blurry.. forgive me!)

Not that my baptism really has much to do with my blog, but I thought I'd share it with ya'll anyway.

This day was extremely important to me. I've had some amazing influences in my life that have brought me to where I am today. 

I mentioned a girl named Natalie Campbell in my video. She was huge in my coming to Christ. I have always been a believer but I never actually knew what that meant to be a follower until I met her and let her work in my life. I explain a lot in the video of what an impact she had on my life, but honestly I can't really put it all in words. 

But this girl is something amazing! Such an incredible individual. I'm so blessed to have her in my life!

She is beautiful from the inside out!

These lyrics are for her..

"I'll never let you stand alone
You'll always have my hand to hold
Our lengthy talks never get old
You're gonna change the world you know.

And I said..
Hey sunshine,
Don't you get yourself upset
Giving more than the world may ever know
So tilt your head towards the sun
You've got brighter days ahead
Don't you worry that your life will be cut short."

"Sunshine" by jinxed

I love you Natalie Lynn Campbell. Thank you for everything you have done for me! You have made me who I am today!

What's my inspiration?

I've never really been a huge writer.. as I said before, I neverrr made good grades in English, I mean.. lets be honest, I never got over a C on a paper I wrote.
But maybe that doesn't mean I'm not a good writer. Maybe that just means, the topic I was writing about wasn't a true passion of mine. Maybe if I actually found something that meant a lot to me, I could write about it better. Ya! That sounds promising! Well then, let me go ahead and try it..

Caitlin Kyle Barber is her name and I guess you could say that she is kinda sorta a huuugeeee passion of mine..

 (she's on the left.. I'm on the right.)

Not only is she a passion of mine but, she's my BIG sister and I'm the annoying, bratty, pushy little sister.. but I'm allowed to be! I have the title "little" and that means A LOT of different things. Trust me, I get away with things I shouldn't.

 We won't go into details though....

Instead, let me just inform ya'll how absolutely amazing this woman of God is.. who I can proudly call, my sister.
First off, she is in Thailand for 3 months. She is there as we speak. Leading people to Jesus! Which rules.
Honestly, I could stop there. Pretty sure she beats all of us with JUST that. But, just you wait.. it gets even better! Hard to believe, I know..
This girl loves Jesus with every single ounce of her. I don't think that I have ever seen her slip away from her walk with Christ. She is the most consistent, "in it for the win" follower I have ever met.. and it blows my mind! Let me tell ya'll, being able to not only look up to her every single day of my life and know that she is there with me every step I take, but I can call her MY sister. Mine. That is amazing to me. I have such a passion for her, it's unbelievable.
God has worked in her life ever since she exited the womb! I mean, lets be real.. she came out absolutely perfect to do His work. He knew exactly what He made her for and she has followed His exact plan! She has chosen, every single day to follow him and shine His light to everyone around. And trust me, it is a BRIGHT light people!

I admire her to the fullest. I look up to her with no doubt. I will never be ashamed to call her my sister, my best friend.
She is one of a kind everyone! Absolutely and completely, perfect in my eyes.

I've quoted this verse about her before..
"There's no one like her on earth, never has been, never will be. She's a woman beyond compare."
- Song of Songs 6:8
(the funny thing about that quote, she was the one who showed it to me. She wrote it on a note, written to me.. which still today, hangs on my wall for me to see every day.)

Caitlin Kyle Barber in the dictionary should be that verse. She is perfect. She is beyond compare. She is admired.

Ya'll! She is incredible! I don't even think this post will do her justice. But she is my inspiration and without her, I will never be able to accomplish all the things I said I wanted to in my last post. She will help and lead me through it. She will walk with me. She will support me with anything I want to do. Her heart is good. It is pure. And it is open to anyone who needs it.

I'm blessed to call her part of me:)

If you want to read more about her heart in Thailand, her blog is.. http://ckbarber.blogspot.com/
Check her out, ya'll will be just as amazed if not more amazed by her than I am every single day.

I love you Nae! <3

Nailed It!

Ok, the only reason that I say, "nailed it" is because I actually figured out how to create this blog, by myself, no help. Go me!
And thissss.right.here. will be my first blog post. Ever! Crazy, right?

Well, I feel like this will be a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings, whenever I want. Plus, I feel like a lot of my thoughts are constantly unheard. Maybe it's because most of them are pointless and don't really have meaning to most people, but I thought them, soooo.. that should count for something, am I right or am I righttt?
Also, please don't judge the way that I write. I never made good grades in English class.. I write like I talk and/or text. Hopefully it won't be too big of a struggle to read what I'm saying..

The point of my blog will be advice, venting and anything else that comes to mind. It may not always be the best, but sometimes writing makes me feel like I'm not alone with the obstacles that have been placed in my, so far, 19 years of life..
Including but not limited to the following:
I've gotten my heart broken, I've moved away from home and missed it, I've been defeated by the devil, been told lies and believed them, I've wanted to give up, I've cried until I couldn't anymore, I've lost all friends, all at once, I've thought I was good for nothing and worthless, I've forgotten how truly blessed I am, I've made huge mistakes, I've been rude to my parents when they have given me everything I need, I've taken life for granted, I've broken peoples hearts,  I've sinned beyond belief,  I've had absolutely no confidence in myself, ect.

The ones I italicized, put in bold and underlined are my main struggles.. Which is the key to the title of my blog. I've had days where I was nothing but negative. The only thing I was hearing were the lies coming straight from the devil, sitting on my shoulder. He just loves to whisper in my ear, 24/7. And the problem is, I choose to listen to him and believe it.
He never fails to shoot things into my mind to make me feel, good for nothing and worthless. He kills my confidence daily. Not only with appearance, but makes me think I'm simply..not a good person.
WHY would I believe any of this??
Because, he is extremely persuasive.. He makes me look down, when I should be looking up. My eyes should be focused on the One who made me. The One who has my heart, who knows me better than anyone else. And you know who that is?
YES! Ding ding ding! You got that right! Jesus, God, My Father, My Rock, My Everything!
Soooo.. You'd think, with all that confidence in knowing who He is, and what He's done for me that it wouldn't be hard to just look up and focus my attention all on Him.. But, it is. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way before but I feel this way, daily.

I want to be the one who is so on fire for God that everyone can see it. I want to show His light to everyone in the world. I want to change peoples lives! I want to give hope to the hopeless and encouragement to the discouraged. I have a good heart. And I want more than anything for it to be seen. But before I can do any of that, I need to get myself together. I need to start loving myself and realizing that I am beautiful (inside and out)..  that I am worth fighting for.. that I am someone who can change lives and light up the world!
All of this sounds so amazing! The challenge is, making it all happen and pulling myself together to make it flow smoothly.
I suppose that's not always how things work out. Life is full of struggles.
God didn't make things to always be easy for us.. He made us fighters. He made us strong. He gave us our love for Him to spread to everyone else so that we may all work together!

Maybe I'm just rambling on and not making sense now.. But I hope ya'll got something out of this. I hope to post something every chance I get or whenever something comes to mind. Good or bad.

I will end with this quote aka: the inspiration for the title of my blog..

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
-Helen Keller